Orwellian (my battle with depression, dysmorphia, anxiety, body image, eating disorder, perfectionism, and the ongoing back-and-forth with oblivion)

may my last words be half-slurred and cathartic so & so’s favorite blue jeans stained with tear drops & saliva head cradled in their lap, eyes barely widened my interventions’ HQ will be besmirched within silence my shoulder blades girth played role of a harbinger the bonier they got; the more i wished i wasContinue reading “Orwellian (my battle with depression, dysmorphia, anxiety, body image, eating disorder, perfectionism, and the ongoing back-and-forth with oblivion)”

crush

he’s sitting in his shadow match lit. iron sight shifting with his arrow da vinci with a trebuchet. resentment at a younger age don’t think i’ve ever fucking been the same stay still please, so i don’t have to ever aim. heartbeat on my cabernet, gospel on the interlude never into hurting you; but that’sContinue reading “crush”

boys don’t cry

I’m over evolving. dopamine soberly blossoms noted and jotted in, like an old scripture bludgeoning forecast, people make what they want of him hold whispers. cold shivers. so obviously rigged language is bothering. thunderstorm on the brink on the cusp of oblivion, and never stopping to think or wonder, what wanderlust awaits waverly love dozensContinue reading “boys don’t cry”

again and again, again.

again i hear footsteps awaken the creaks in the floor again. who the fucks at the door? night stand machete laid neatly in drawer revolver neath queen mattress. in case of a quarrel but there’s nothing. just repentance, contempt, intentions dissolved gun powder, protein drinks, and penniless thoughts could’ve sworn there was something. apparently notContinue reading “again and again, again.”

what the fuck do i do

the moon the moon the moon the sun the sun the moon press mute succumb doomed doomed doomed I’m doomed. we’re done who who who are you who are us? collusion contusions. you’re a cup of hot chocolate on the fiercest winter morning feel the blisters forming whistle through the windows pixelating percentage whistling. coldContinue reading “what the fuck do i do”

mad scientist

mix gunpowder and moments. of silence gather components you’d author with smiles combustible crossover. lost in your eyeballs. gifting a locket, heart shaped alloy wishing upon a asteroid comet because… it’ll turn to debris before it reaches to me countdown from three, wishing your frown obsolete douse gasoline, that sets blaze to decree miscellaneous. mundane.Continue reading “mad scientist”

prius

i recognize this abandonment pattern. neglect and avoid pushed to the side, suffocate & deprive overwrought. rush to get over the noise stiff arm tactical markup. 1 and death on the goal practically harmless. red zone ballad demarcation change is in constance, conscientious tailored departure mademoiselle, i’ve heard you tell me this often understandable. hatchetContinue reading “prius”

disassociation

you passionately spoke, breathing in between ; about how we’d be able to practically look at each other without speaking and know what we mean. hold my hands. slight facial gesture, radiant beam. on the cusp of extraordinary meaning, emboldened by components we both constructed with our definition of love. uphold the only person iContinue reading “disassociation”

i know what i need 

I dont know what I want whether its surface dwelling alone at the swamp or an oak in a marsh, soul searching proverbial want we’re more or less spawns of monsters nobody needs you were my star spangled banner and I was taking a knee subterranean breeze, vitamin pond, still smell your perfume every onceContinue reading “i know what i need “

fötter day

you can hear the… suburbia chime, zirconia vertebrae. pearly white spine glass thrown in stone houses, regular suburbia night whirring, rewind. chronicled childhood in olive drab paint monocle glass. wormwood and bottles of shawshank. dissolute solitude, wanderer who wallows in maze en route. delay for tomorrow. never promised today virgin diary. anne frank. marie curieContinue reading “fötter day”

You’re Stephanie and I’m Paulette

blossoming beauty. bud bellowing britches we reap what we sow. i’m sorry, my harvest rescinded behold love at first sight, to love at last minute i melted my nucleus cause my base was acidic it’s not that we grew apart, we just didnt grow to begin with want to create a spark that embarks onContinue reading “You’re Stephanie and I’m Paulette”