My shoulder blades’ girth played the role of a harbinger
As bony as I got; the more I saw myself as a skeleton
Malnourished, malevolent, maladjusted malaise
Mocking in malformed metaphors to try to explain
There’s a concession of an all-dead jury saying my name
A prosecutor in a straitjacket who thinks I’m insane
Hazy weekends- labored breathing, eyes barely widened
Glassy-eyed, with no boundaries heightened.
Fantasize the database, sharing data with the
Armed and dangerous, highly contagious alien race.
Every door saying push but being tailored to pull
Judges with mallets in the same shape of my skull
I throw stones in a glass house daily
Pantomime as a cat and mouse flailing
A bone to pick because these past lives failed me.
Bloodsucker, with a lost childhood and adult haven
A gun runner, that touches base with the unrelated
Inundated safe spaces of every other generation
Heartbreakers are misplaced trust stations.
Mass murdering and love laden
Sputtered out a quarter, and meant less of your words lately
You fucking half-murmured anything worth saying
Innate phrasing and a caprice crisis
Blinking twice, as a signal to police snipers
I’ve gotten anxious, because I’ve told you I’m not anxious
For that I got chasers and glasses for my motherfucking shot-takers
Calm-nerved and for-God-saken
Modded sign language, for up-and-comers with violations
Every moment spent sober – a cry out for help
Tullamore on the shelf
Books in the wine cellar
Spending most of his life wishing I’d try better
Heart of a lion, mouth of a sinner
There’s something so dystopian about 19.84 oz. of liquor
May my last words be half-slurred and cathartic
Judy’s favorite blue jeans stained with tear drops and saliva
My intervention will be besmirched within silence
Tag: alliteration
-
-
He’s sitting in his shadow, match lit,
iron sight shifting with his arrow.
Da Vinci with a trebuchet, resentment at a younger age.
Don’t think I’ve ever fucking been the same.
Stay still please, so I don’t have to ever aim.
Heartbeat on my cabernet, gospel on the interlude.
Never into hurting you, but that’s probably hurting you.
Want to hear you love me, but that’s my crawling incertitude.
I’m sorry, you’ve heard it… too… many times.
Loose lips sink ships on the New Delhi line.
Blueberry, thyme, Seattle fog on the Bloomsbury dime.
Anxiety finds a new adversary for you every time.
Kavinsky playing Nightcall, nightfall addict. Gun-slinging, moonlight absorber.
Eyeball static, upbringing made me too primed for torture.
Leukocyte warlord with a do-or-die sword code.
DNA punching out Morse, ’cause the nuclei’s disordered.
Sobering negative, gripping a metal shank alloy.
Overly sensitive programming on this self-aware android.
Therapists that call me the armchair nutcase.
Trying to turn back to bugged versions of his software update.
I stop to stare into your eyes, perfect oval-shaped opals, like Russian dolls holding more jewels in them like an enigmatic invention.
A hundred soft, hazel static connections, like joules that gather intent, that teach me there aren’t lessons in every traumatic event. -
Over evolving.
Dopamine soberly blossoms
Noted and jotted in, like an old scripture
Bludgeoning forecast, people make what they want of him
Hold whispers. Cold shivers. So obviously rigged
Language is bothering. Thunderstorm on the brink
On the cusp of oblivion, and never stopping to think
Or wonder, what wanderlust awaits Waverly love
Dozens foreshadowing. Waving red flags like the waging of war
Barefooted resolve. Homosapien scourge
Black pen granule dissolving.
Technicolor gradient torch
Collateral damage. Animal bondage
Lion with his crown of thorns and his lioness hostage
I knew you didn’t love me and it wasn’t a matter of knowledge
It was a matter of topics. You never mentioned before
Casualty tally at the head of the door
Lamb’s blood painting a story nobody knows that goes on
Anxiety outbreaks – three centuries long
He’s so twisted. He’s so rigid.
Never distraught
He stares tacitly at the ceiling while embellishing God
with his headstone reading “I wish you death. Rest in pieces, amor.”
He’s concerned he’s never understood;
Stained by indelible scars
A felon with no parole riding shotgun patrolling in cars
He tosses his palms up in a garden.
A prayer to Ra
Eric Garner’s spirit harnessed when he tries to relay all his thoughts
only to shoulder the weight that buries him all
Bury him. Fall.
Now look at the sowing you reap
He’s a cannibal wolf in a room full of sheep
Thinking how wonderful it’d be if you’d change for me
Self-awareness comes with a cost:
Reality, unlighted tunnels, perilous concepts
Self-destructive. Unhealthy bargaining chips
biting down on stupefaction.
Nothing exists
It’s unrelated. I lick my tongue.
Getting me off
Symphonic bass.
Sweat bead reservoir.
Fucking me raw
We fall asleep.
Counting me, after my unconditional teaching
Teeth in you. Swearing I fucking need it. Barely breathing.
Rib cage fluctuation, sepia pause.
Throat curvature, palms.
Fixed to your arched spine.
Getting involved.
Brain emitting July’s bohemian sprawl
Reading her body. Handprint stories on your thigh and neck.
Finger tracing in half speed, panting four times a second.
Close your eyes, heighten senses.
Demonstrably.
Wavering boomerang into unconsciousness.
I call it gigawattage catharsis.
Purge you of any worldly distress.
Whirl on your neck.
Middle finger dug into your nape.
Mine for the time being. Set sail in your lake.
Want to escape, fall into you & dissuade.
Half-life with a half life. Don’t let me decay.
Knowing that we’ll never look at each other the same.
There’s a parrot on my shoulder that already knows what I’ll say. -
Again
I hear footsteps awaken the creaks in the floor Again. Who the fuck’s at the door?
Nightstand machete laid neatly in drawer.
Revolver ‘neath queen mattress, in case of a quarrel-
But- There’s nothing.
Just repentance, contempt, intentions dissolved.
Gunpowder, protein drinks, and penniless thoughts.
Could’ve sworn there was something. Apparently not.
Hear a swarm of bees next to me every dawn before dark.
Borderline manic. Try undoing the damage
Safe spaces fossilize our balloons and our cages
As therapeutic as raindrops on metal roof interchanges.
Bruised inner spaces, perusing the calluses.
Mister aloof and erratic meeting his doomsayer.
How many times are you going to be abusing my patience?
Interactive relations via internal damnation.
Stray further from kinship.
Let’s purge the pervasion.
Starboard to kingship- observe the insane.
Social connection more grandeur than normal distinction
Hormonal response. Formality close to extinction Forming a bond. Cutthroat. Synovial strong
Childhood friends like famous rockstars. So many gone
Kurt, Latore, Shakur, shuffling through on the browser
Normalcy’s paused. Quiet as space. Jupiter’s powder
Going through life thinking, how do I amount? Inner city soul, stained by destitute out-of-towners
With every nuance I learned from human encounters
Too many to count. Too many to counsel
When obstacles are given names like they’re mountains
Who would’ve thought? Who could’ve seen this
My descent towards aloof disregarding
Diluvian shark fin. Hell in a handbasket Downpours start when my umbrella unravels
Distinct as makeshift drum sets in the Big Apple
Phasing out white noise on hierarchical basis
Psychosomatic. Mind warp. Self-actualization
Dwell in differentiation you promptly install in
We’re basic creatures. Basically bombs
Waiting to go off. Waiting to want.
Ticking till doomsday. Can’t wait to disarm me
But Something is wrong when
My Maslow pyramid has 5 entries for love and belonging
Some things prolonged, let the panic begin
To quiet storms to harsh circumstances again
Don’t need you to resolve what I mention
Just put my tears in a mason while you nod in acceptance.Again.
-
The moon
The moon,
The sun
The sun, the moon
Press mute
Succumb
Doomed, doomed, doomed
I’m doomed.
We’re done
Who, who, who Are you?
Who are we?
What are we?
Collusion
Contusions.
So very meek
You’re a cup of hot chocolate
On the fiercest winter morning
Feel the blisters forming
Whistle through the windows
Pixelating percentage
Whistling.
Cold air Whistling Dixie
Through the windows
It’s snowing.
Frost on the glass
Particle splat
Icicles look like Christmas ornaments
Your silence
Makes me question myself
I was too human
Too human. Too human
Too goddamn human.
Too.
Human.(Everywhere I put a period is a moment in the story where I teared up and cried.)
…
..
.I regret,
maybe I should’ve danced
That one time
That one time
Maybe that would’ve changed something
That one time that
One
time
Hot chocolate, woman, cup
God damn it.
Open up
Do I remain robotic?
Or do I remain human?
Robot.
Beep
boop
Robust.
Beep boop
My safe full of cold guns
Beep boop.What do I do with you?
-
Mix gunpowder and moments of silence
Gather components you’d author with smiles
Combustible crossover, lost in your eyeballs
Gifting a locket, heart-shaped alloyWishing upon an asteroid comet
Because…
It’ll turn to debris before it reaches me
Countdown from three, wishing your frown obsolete
Douse gasoline, that sets blaze to decree
Miscellaneous, mundaneMistletoe mainframe, hypnotize what lingers in me
Complex emotions
Compartmentalizing alone
Left alone in your apartment
High-strung and high-riseAffectionate tease
Was used to darkness from sunrise till sun shivers
Stand in front of me, shut eyes with your fingers
Pressed mute with your kissesTell the moon to revisit
I’d mouth I loved you in English
What could’ve been at a later date
Neck, shoulder, premeditation
Escape
From your inner desire, and overture taste
Melanin eye, brown sepia.
Tell me these lies
Skeleton sky.
Clouds breaking off into my lines
Sound waves get soft, and decibels dice
Where consensual lust rears its head in and tithes
Gives a percentage of care, pretend to be bare
You only said what you said to dissect what was rare
Those are your words.
Foreword. Fast forwardBall of mass in a chokehold
Ozone layer of old words layered
Strapped over my torso
I’m so… so angered. Hormones anchored
To you. Apropos the flavor
Addicted to it. Postpone my conflicted prayers
I’m such a sicko. I hate it.
Like a mad scientist wanting to create Frankenstein but can’t
I’m misaligned. Attack of the Titans, a clash of indecisive I cant’s.
I can’t, not decipher the feelings.
Let me rot and writhe.
Holding a wallet picture of us in my pocket insides.
Wanting to gift it.
Arduous. Physics.
Trying to stop what I’m thinking.But can’t
-
I recognize this abandonment pattern.
Neglect and avoid, pushed to the side, suffocate and deprive.
Overwrought. Rush to get over the noise.
Stiff arm tactical markup. One and death on the goal.
Practically harmless. Red zone ballad demarcation. Change is in constance, conscientious tailored departure.
Mademoiselle, I’ve heard you tell me this often.
Understandable. Hatchet and nail in the coffin.
They could hear us screaming when we’re barely talking.
Ripple effect. Tsunami wave, dimples and neck.
Telling me to hush because someone just called.
Delicate. Soft. Let this be a lesson resolved.
Inconclusive as it is abusive and sordid.
Usual motive. Behaviorist sadist assortment.
White dress. Biting my lip till the flavor is gone.
Entanglement. Arthritic, you say. Wait till you call.
Some call it analytics, some call it to wait for the fall.
Wallowing towards the
barking up the karmic relationship.
Darkness derailing.Flagging down the shipwreck.
Lighthouse is hazy. Maybe- I’m faithful.
Shit. I ain’t as smart as you make me.
Maybe my pride’s hopeful.
Handing out dead or alive posters.
Street peasant, preaching dreams, nobody dropping a nickel.
Pinning phone book back-pages, milk carton picture depressant.
Mighty magnificent.
Silence, I solemnly covet.My spaceship running on smog.
Started to build bridges, only to drop them and run.
The troll under them was just a consequence of it.Follow me, darling.
Don’t follow me. Fuck it.
State of affairs, shoulder kiss, blissful disdain.
I made sure I heard you cry; wasn’t sure you could rain.
Wish I could rewind my lips, then make amendments.
It is what it is. It is what it isn’t.
Regurgitating versions of self we hardly know, wrap ourselves in layers of hardship and clones.
Despondency boasts.
Free jazz concert takes my attention for an hour before I soar off into retention of body and soul.Who do you talk to when the person you talk to is gone?
Two-month rental.
The insurance is paying for it, run it to the ground.
Who cares? It’s a Prius, it doesn’t belong to us and the gas is free.
I’ve always wanted one of these, just to see what the buzz is about.
Someone said it’s been used before; can I just pretend it’s new?
Put your foot on the gas and you’re out, I don’t have to pay a dime.
I wonder if they’ll even care if I crash it, let’s not drop it off, they can come and get it, insurance is paying for it, remember?
After all, it is a Prius. -
You spoke passionately, breathing in between; about how we could practically look at each other without speaking and know what we mean. Hold my hands. Slight facial gesture, radiant beam. On the cusp of extraordinary meaning, emboldened by components both constructed with a definition of love. Uphold the only person I wouldn’t give up. Ultralight fixture hooked by the seams. Lean over and tell me to be sweet to you. A declaration without question I consented to. Something from dreams. Dreams realized by coincidence. You see, I don’t believe in happenstance, or the desultory theory. I don’t believe in randomness, or fortuitous grandeur. I don’t believe we told each other we loved each other in our most comfortable ways, because it was random and we had to say it because we were put on the spot. Hand me the anthem to your beating heart, look how easeful we let ourselves be. Enjoy the moment, don’t let anything interject this telltale juncture. I felt scared, but I fell asleep through it all. No other feet on the floor, making the wood creak. Just you and I. No makeup, no making up things to hinder or shade the initial way we very diligently feel. Under the shade, drunk, untouchable, dazed, you told me you did, and I remember your body. Audacious. Bronze, bold, and barely sorry. You stretched it out and let me kiss your neck till we stopped breathing. I’m not seeing the dots. Sequences mocked in my head, surrealistic. Please, pass the 1800 I left at your place. Take a swig, take a swim in it till we recreate what we wanted to make. Now what the fuck did we want to make? Alcoholic infinity pool. Ideas wrapped in embalming fluid, conservation effort at its best. Medical kits ravaged through and through. Petri dish left alone. The moss grows out of control. And before you know it the whole building is moss. They then turn it into a museum that shows the effects of nature without interference from humans. Nefarious, ruthless.
Communication efforts, high-rise wink, and a glare. A 65-foot story edifice built with the air that we breathed in. We took it too far. Maybe we didn’t take it far enough in the day. Maybe I accosted you. Maybe I don’t know what to say. Maybe I don’t know when to put off, or lay off, and just proclaim we’ve gone too far, Let’s delay the inevitable army coming to raze the buildings we built, The princesses we locked away in towers, in case someone dared to unravel the chains. Battle the dragons that lay in scales of brave souls that couldn’t contain. In the nest atop of the moat, intense guarding by alligators that haven’t eaten in weeks, That stare with listless bloodshot eyes, that peek over the callous, dry mud you feel safe from ever slipping on. I didn’t realize it’d be from the other side of the bar. Where we don’t speak to each other and know what we meant. That’s not what I planned. Not what I wanted to express, okay?
Have you ever experienced the glow of rising sun with someone so advanced in your fortress you let them break down the doors to your chamber? I was in six feet of water trying to breathe. Guide me, I’m weak. I’m not gonna lie, that night fucking broke me. I solemnly pray, calmly, or I solemnly pray somehow you could calm me. Ironic. Ionic. Electrical charge. Cation and anion, embellishing hardship. Arrhenius asserted that large compounds irreversibly form into smaller charged particles even without electrical current. This is called dissociation. It sounds like disassociation. I bet you, you weren’t expecting that. Wrote print my entire life and fell in love with your cursive. I still remember Philip Olivier. And I chuckle. Can you picture Philip Olivier? Hope my knees don’t buckle and shake, tucked into shapeless projections, and then crumble and break. I have a thousand thoughts in my head and don’t know what else to say. Someone just left the coffee shop I’m in. I wish them the best.
The world can’t be given to you by someone else
But they can make it a bit brighter
What they tell you is don’t be selfish
What they don’t tell you is be selfish with love
In your twenties.
Telling you right now, be selfish
I remember what your mom said
She wished she never left her first love, it’s a regret that she had
I don’t know if you know. Don’t ask
How I
Do
-
I don’t know what I want,
Whether it’s surface dwelling alone at the swamp
Or an oak in a marsh, soul-searching proverbial want.
We’re more or less spawns of monsters nobody needs,
You were my star-spangled banner, and I was taking a knee.Subterranean breeze, vitamin pond, still smell your perfume,
Every once in a blue moon, Dahlia Divin creeps in the room.
Black lagoon creature, months of despondent malaise,
Never under the same moon, but always got in your way.Every constant is change, every constant in chains,
The sheriff to my merits, conversation warranted pain.
Follow the tunnel light or continue to walk among the shade,
Politics, topic delay, boxer on the ropes.You taught me to love, but to love to be alone,
A hundred teeth sunk in deep, ’til they’re rusting at the bone.
Propaganda-prone, post-traumatic melodic drama,
Copacetic cathartic static, momentary sedative saga.Mama said to me never mince words with Misses Karma,
Megabit verbiage, sapient alma in the trenches of mock prison,
Velvet and soft linen, cotton henley makeshift pajama,
Couldn’t figure you out…Kissed crevasses in your skin, you were indifferent about,
You’re awkwardly distant to things that slipped through my mouth.
Look at you now…
Sinatra’s lovers glance, blood-soaked sinful devout,
The untolds dripping, gun smoke cigarette clouds.Love grows thinner when the sun strokes negligent doubt,
What comes, goes,
Hum low under floorboardsOr they’ll figure us out.
Self-destruct sequence, count to zero with me,
Feel your feelings metamorph like metaphors in the breeze.I don’t know what I want, I just know what I need,
Better go home before I’m awoken, and I see you,
Full of momentary passes focused entropy seams,
Beams of light bustling through cracks in the stream.Pockets of time form like globules; we’d skip stones in ravine,
Everything’s too loud even when the volume’s negative three,
Nothing we do can salvage this irreparable dream.Qué pena me da, que lo tienes sentir,
Shouted at you to leave as I whispered the please. -
You can hear the
suburban chime, zirconia vertebrae, pearly white spine.
Glass thrown in stone houses, a regular suburban night,
whirring, rewinding. Chronicled childhood in olive drab paint,
monocle glass.
Wormwood and bottles of Shawshank
dissolute solitude. A wanderer who wallows in the maze
en route, delaying for tomorrow, never promised today.
A virgin diary, Anne Frank, Marie Curie disease, a tincture of rainbow,
even if the distance is blurry to me, he who knows the way to Zihuatenejo.
Furloughed father, demanding you to die when I say so,
26 pesos left in your wallet
lint and mothball, Merryland experiment omelette.
Laundromat arcade quarter exchange
2 o’clock shadow of death and follicle strain.
These boulders were supposed to be gone when I got here,
you shouldered me off, Sunday morning penny loafer with frost,
social commentary Gabriel-Lucifer talk,
metamucil retrograde, Jupiter star.
Bolivian roast, oblivion, and a toast goes to Mars,
you hold my hand, but I don’t even know who you are,
shout at me when indoors, but whisper weak when afar.
I’m so close to eroding, skin growth barely a scar,
in my house, the big wolf, lungs pulse ’til exhaustion.
I read a suicide note from the ghost in my closet,
I don’t know if he knows if this apartment is haunted,
by patriarchal pettiness, reminiscent negligent heart,
maleficent maligned, distant and forgotten insidious offspring,
with ammunition in their lips that keep you off guard.
Feel the metacarpal love letters ’til your fingers fall off,
once you step out the door, you hear the wooden creak in the floor.
Fell asleep at the creek daydreaming before,
every time before bed I hear footsteps coming from deep,
and I hide in my closet, until they delete.
REM hits me while I’m counting my sheep
counting rosary beads for every step wolf takes towards me,
like neighborhood freeze tag, counting to three.
Dysfunctional beings huffing in suburban breeze,
I know that I know nothing is in love when I speak,
into denizens, the medicine cabinet creaks,
when you close it and I haven’t heard it in weeks,
from bourbon to curtains burnt at the seams.
I’m so close to being the opposite of perfect, I scream.
What emerges, a bird sits perched in a tree,
what alerts him is the suburban breeze. -
Blossoming beauty, bud bellowing britches,
We reap what we sow. I’m sorry, my harvest rescinded.
Behold love at first sight, to love at the last minute,
I melted my nucleus because my base was acidic.
It’s not that we grew apart; we just didn’t grow to begin with.
I want to create a spark that embarks your soulless division,
Ammunition like fuel to mobilize the holes that we sink in,
Apparition, venom that fills the abyss to the top,
‘Til I get thirsty and drink its malevolence. Stop,
Visceral, bottomless.Listen, I’m shot,
Digesting the scintilla, dissecting the plot,
Touching the scars you gave me, and I connected the dots.I can’t win.
You touch my jawbone in a moment of silence.
I kiss your fingertips because that’s what I’ve been exposed to, and I’m
Tired of thinking, affection needs affection in turn,
A disservice to the deterrent you never deserved.
The other day someone said they loved the way that I wrote,
Just feeling a difference in the tone in which they uttered my name,
Inflection so infectious, conundrums like a blood lust.
I could feel them touching my vein. -
I’ve become receptive to any piece of endearment,
As if getting you to talk to me is some sort of achievement.
The curve of your lips, the forming words swirled into art,
The muse from the Louvre turns my oeuvre into all,
To consume what you do, with every molecule I control,
Then to being consumed… and then to being controlled.I’ve learned that timing is a tool that you brandish,
Practiced brainwashing of patience duly examined,
Adept at adapting, pervasive detachment,
Waiting at the riverbank’s edges for the prey, you attacked.
I took what I had left, to make a full cloak,
A wolf near the willow tree, and a sheep in wool clothing,
Didn’t need a disguise, I saw you coming a mile away,
Meters turned to inches, maybe I wanted the pain.If I say I’m happy, there should be an asterisk given.
So now,
I gaze past your position, until days past come and visit,
Make happiness vivid, gray bandage, incisions,
That’s why executioners wear masks,
Guillotine unconfirmed, stared at the Medusa-like glare,
And into stone, I was turned,
The same stone you built bridges with just to burn.