Again, and Again: A Poem of Repetition and Resignation


I hear footsteps awaken the creaks in the floor Again. Who the fuck’s at the door?
Nightstand machete laid neatly in drawer.
Revolver ‘neath queen mattress, in case of a quarrel-
But- There’s nothing.
Just repentance, contempt, intentions dissolved.
Gunpowder, protein drinks, and penniless thoughts.
Could’ve sworn there was something. Apparently not.
Hear a swarm of bees next to me every dawn before dark.
Borderline manic. Try undoing the damage
Safe spaces fossilize our balloons and our cages
As therapeutic as raindrops on metal roof interchanges.
Bruised inner spaces, perusing the calluses.
Mister aloof and erratic meeting his doomsayer.
How many times are you going to be abusing my patience?
Interactive relations via internal damnation.
Stray further from kinship.
Let’s purge the pervasion.
Starboard to kingship- observe the insane.
Social connection more grandeur than normal distinction
Hormonal response. Formality close to extinction Forming a bond. Cutthroat. Synovial strong
Childhood friends like famous rockstars. So many gone
Kurt, Latore, Shakur, shuffling through on the browser
Normalcy’s paused. Quiet as space. Jupiter’s powder
Going through life thinking, how do I amount? Inner city soul, stained by destitute out-of-towners
With every nuance I learned from human encounters
Too many to count. Too many to counsel
When obstacles are given names like they’re mountains
Who would’ve thought? Who could’ve seen this
My descent towards aloof disregarding
Diluvian shark fin. Hell in a handbasket Downpours start when my umbrella unravels
Distinct as makeshift drum sets in the Big Apple
Phasing out white noise on hierarchical basis
Psychosomatic. Mind warp. Self-actualization
Dwell in differentiation you promptly install in
We’re basic creatures. Basically bombs
Waiting to go off. Waiting to want.
Ticking till doomsday. Can’t wait to disarm me
But Something is wrong when
My Maslow pyramid has 5 entries for love and belonging
Some things prolonged, let the panic begin
To quiet storms to harsh circumstances again
Don’t need you to resolve what I mention
Just put my tears in a mason while you nod in acceptance.


Published by Cristian Leonardo Gajardo

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