Quiet Now: ‘You Don’t Matter,’ but You’re Fine

I don’t want to congratulate anybody ever. I don’t want to give people the gratitude of me acknowledging them. I want to compete with them silently. I want them not to know that I’m sneaking up behind them. I want to be a ninja.


I’d commit suicide, I’d commit it in a second.

But, Goddamn it, I was never good at commitments. In fact, I’m horrible. In fourth and fifth grade, we were supposed to exchange gifts for the holidays. My partner was my ex-best friend, and I didn’t get him anything because I thought the clock I got was a horrible gift. I was the only kid in class who showed up with nothing. I said I forgot.

I don’t have a fear of failure. My fear comes from despising myself when I do fail. And I will fail, and when I do, I don’t, because I don’t take chances. I don’t apply for jobs, I don’t ask girls out on dates, I don’t push myself in the gym, I don’t write the best I can, because I’m scared that my best will be a failure. I wrote this entire poem starting at 7:59 pm today. My train is about to land in Penn Station. I’m currently getting no service on my phone because we’re going underground. I’ll never try my best. I don’t deserve it.

And last but not least, my fourth and final passage I live by:

I’ve learned that everything in this life isn’t about you, like even at your own wedding. That isn’t about you. Don’t worry; you’re still important! But this isn’t about you. You, you, and you. Remember the most important days in your lives? They weren’t about you. But it’s okay. When I was 4, I scraped my knee, and I cried. I was in the park with my dad, and he helped me and hushed me. He asked if I was okay, and I cried yes. He looked at me and said, “Okay, quiet now, we’re in a public park, and everybody’s looking at you. This isn’t about you. You’re fine.” And I stopped crying.

Published by Cristian Leonardo Gajardo

Welcome to Cristian’s Cafe, a website where I showcase my various forms of expression and happiness. Here you can find poetry, podcasts, personal blogging, research articles, open mic, comedy, and art. Whether you are looking for inspiration, entertainment, or information, you will find something that suits your taste and mood. Enjoy browsing through my content and feel free to leave your comments and feedback. Please note that the Wi-Fi connection may be slow or unstable at times, so please be patient and look at the art instead. Thank you for visiting Cristian’s Cafe

One thought on “Quiet Now: ‘You Don’t Matter,’ but You’re Fine

  1. I love the video, the personality you bring to piece. Honesty mixed with absurdity. The last section was my favorite we always take things personally and sometimes in doing so we get too defensive to relate with each other

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