They won’t exactly be sending out search parties for you, so no need to cast a longing gaze toward Gomorrah. It’s quite an interesting connection between me and all these naysayers, almost like some cosmic joke. Imagine a leaf petal doing a helicopter impression, whirling around in the wind and making a melodious entrance ontoContinue reading “Between the Rose-Colored Glasses”
Author Archives: Cristian Leonardo Gajardo
You Were the First Person I Thought of: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Healing
“You’re the first person I thought of” is generally the type of plaudit I’d hope to hear after phrases like: “funniest person ever,” “most creative individual you know,” I’ve devoted an embarrassing amount of time to woolgathering—lost in daydreams that conjure up would-be accolades about the person I aspire to become someday. I never wantedContinue reading “You Were the First Person I Thought of: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Healing”
My Goodness, You’re a Miracle
My Goodness. My heart. Words I never want to repeat. I didn’t know this is how it would be. You’re an anomaly in nature, you’re silence when the sound is on. You’re a cherry stem, Marfa lights, the escapist nature of the Taos hum. Have you ever heard yourself laugh and caught yourself falling inContinue reading “My Goodness, You’re a Miracle”
The Poacher’s Liability Issue
There’s a point that I’m reaching Metal-stained depression that questions my poise. Soy sauce and Som Tam alleviate my diseases Witherspoon Street, right off of Des Moines. I’m better off. Leave me- said in telekinesis Park my car in dimmed city streets, seemed so adroit. As a meditative escape- to break free and avoid theContinue reading “The Poacher’s Liability Issue”
Never Too Old: A Poem of Reconnecting with Your Inner Child
Coffee Stains and Bloodstains: A Poem of Addiction and Love
I feel like an addict. I whispered as I fell asleep by myself Waking up in shivers and zero responses to my pleading for help. I’m normal, I’m honest Sitting beside a two-week headache and a toilet of vomit Telling my Tylenol I’ll be back before dawn. Another broken statement soaking in promise. My mind’sContinue reading “Coffee Stains and Bloodstains: A Poem of Addiction and Love”
Tiny Little Voices: How I Learned to Embrace My Emotions and Overcome Apathy
My comprehension of human relationships has been severely impaired by the cumulative effects of my past experiences, which have left me scarred, traumatized, and besieged. This sounds like the beginning of a very sad movie, butI guarantee you there’s hope. The term “relationship” itself becomes vague and ambiguous here, further complicated by my incessant andContinue reading “Tiny Little Voices: How I Learned to Embrace My Emotions and Overcome Apathy”
Grief, and Other Small Victories: How Losing My Loved Ones Taught Me to Love Myself
The title of this essay is inspired by Paul Neilan’s novel “Apathy and Other Small Victories”, which is one of my favorite books. It is filled with edgy, dark humor and satire, and I aspire to emulate its style in this post, but I will most likely fail. The day my grandmother left me wasContinue reading “Grief, and Other Small Victories: How Losing My Loved Ones Taught Me to Love Myself”
JOURNAL: From Shame to Hope: A Journey of Mental Health Recovery Through Writing
For an extended period, I chose to disregard the state of my mental well-being, perpetuating a societal stigma that had long been ingrained within me. This perception, I suspect, resonates with many others as well—a reluctance to burden or trouble others, a hesitance to acknowledge our need for cognitive support. It’s almost as though weContinue reading “JOURNAL: From Shame to Hope: A Journey of Mental Health Recovery Through Writing”
The Paradox of 4:05 A.M: A Poem of Codependency and Reclusion
I have so much to say, and nothing suffices The honest truth is, I just want to cry Enough violence of my energy marks being assaulted My silence comes from expecting nothing less than the obvious Misunderstanding, awkwardness, overall shyness. I acquiesce solely out of exhaustion. Closed captions underneath both of our eyelids Touch myContinue reading “The Paradox of 4:05 A.M: A Poem of Codependency and Reclusion”
I Met Somebody, And Now I’m Drowning In Radio Silence
I met somebody I’m not sure if I was supposed to thoughNot sure if she was approachableAnxious and mellowStanding with my hand on my elbowStudied her curves with the Glance from my hello But, I’m sure, you’re unreachable And as A man (boy) wrapped his arms around her As to slowly suggest an inflection AndContinue reading “I Met Somebody, And Now I’m Drowning In Radio Silence”
Spellbound by a Hellhound: A Latino Man’s Unfinished Love Story
Spellbinding is the term used to describe when you’re holding someone’s complete attention, almost as if it were something magical; indescribably intoxicating. Have you ever felt light brown eyes lock into your soul, eyes surrounded by the most perfectly tailored bronze skin, like if you crushed up Jupiter and sprinkled the dust over an emptyContinue reading “Spellbound by a Hellhound: A Latino Man’s Unfinished Love Story”