How to Trick Yourself into Love: A Poem Inspired by Hercules and the River Styx

Killed in combat over and over,
killing disease, killed in disguise,
killed when I sleep, killed in my dreams,
killed because I’m weak.
Attracting spiritually broken, they see a healer in me.
Chill in my bones.
Killing me slowly, kiss me. It’s frozen.
Feeling the breeze.
Or is that you behind, huffing on these?
Maroon eye, jeweled demon, ruby iris.
Drool dripping.
Do or die.
Wolf wedding.

Sheep ring bearers, unsheared sheep pastor.
Wool clothing.
The warmth of our rivalry helps me fall asleep faster.
Hyper empath, I hear your heartbeat miles away.
Hear it before I fall asleep.
Hear it when I’m on a date.
Why does it all of a sudden beat faster?
Is it a scary movie? Reading a letter from me you’re ignoring?
Are you late to work? Or have you met someone new?
Sometimes, I like looking at you when you aren’t looking at me.
It’s relaxing to know, you aren’t thinking about how my eyes engulf you.
I’ve lost the illusion of things I thought irreplaceable, only to acquire ones that I thought hoping for once made me delusional.
Losing you, learning to realize reasons why I’m the way I am, like my obsession for control, like a sextant in my throat.
I couldn’t control falling in love.
And there you go. Want to know a secret into tricking yourself?
Think of a moment when you’re warm, cradled. Drinking an aromatic, or brushing the warm fibers of your bed.
Now, this is where you think of someone. You can trick yourself into thinking they’re there with you.
Back muscles tense up. I keep forgetting to forget about you.
Can’t remember to remember you’re not here. I’ll try harder when I’m drunk and you’re drunk and we can find each other in that intoxication and hopefully talk about it and what shouldn’t have happened.

Published by Cristian Leonardo Gajardo

Welcome to Cristian’s Cafe, a website where I showcase my various forms of expression and happiness. Here you can find poetry, podcasts, personal blogging, research articles, open mic, comedy, and art. Whether you are looking for inspiration, entertainment, or information, you will find something that suits your taste and mood. Enjoy browsing through my content and feel free to leave your comments and feedback. Please note that the Wi-Fi connection may be slow or unstable at times, so please be patient and look at the art instead. Thank you for visiting Cristian’s Cafe

Comments, suggestions, or anything that comes to your mind when you read this