BROKEN WALLS: Dissonant Whispers and Unforgiven Apologies

There are lies that I tell, with no repercussions in sight,
Roll over for the fallout, mushroom smoke, destruction tonight.
Blood on the vinyl, the stylus goes over it every time,
I heard a whisper that others swear I made up in my mind.

I mean, I’m sorry, I’m apologizing for apologies’ sake,
Anthology of poems that I swore I never created,
Signature, me, my handwriting becomes sloppy by noon,
Hollow out the wine cabinet, 3 P.M., Oktober Lagune.

Philosophy twist, take a trip with me to Corpus Callosum,
Where coordinates of your ghost console the subconscious,
Sort of robotic, you control my wiring with a jolt, electronic,
My own Pocahontas, brunette soul, roses from the garden have blossomed.

There’s more than what meets the eye, a morgue detailed in disguise,
The force in which you assort to, distorts the ailing device,
Tobacco road, collages corroded by writings in code,
Chorus in falsetto, I need endorphins for one night in Chicago.

Fireplace blisters, a crackle for every sip that I take,
Stolichnaya, punches rolled with the fist that I make,
A soft season in Texas, mistletoes, Sam Adams, King Cole for your taste,
Dismissive soul, for every broken heart, there’s a home I invade.

And for every cold day, there’s a lava-breathing demon, I lay,
Lion gazelle syndrome in your bed, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing,
Love that you run from me, love that you bleed slowly,
I could see you at the gazebo from the window that I deliberately sit at.

I wish I knew, maybe tomorrow I’ll love you again,
Maybe it’s the summer air, maybe I hope that summer never ends,
It’s culture and ethics, vulture paradigm culled and then etched in,
The permanent pull of forever.

Do you remember we kissed? The sole member of this ringing inaction,
Heard about your Schrödinger attachment, the elixir is magic,
Pronounce your name for me, I want to say it in a dead language,
I want to say it how they said it before we even existed,

Out loud and painfully, full of rage, in a sweating panic,
Seasons remiss, I want to breathe it into existence,
Velvet sage, I want to say it with your hand on my neck,
Great minds think alike, so that’s why we both brandish contempt.

Showered with my clothes on, alone in the stall,
Emptied the Heaven Hill, and put a hole in the wall,
Called the “don’t do it” lifeline and was put on hold for an hour,
Wrote a letter to my parents and choked on the vowels,

Bit on my tongue till the blood diluted the taste of the bourbon,
Put a slit through my bandage, put a blade to my churches,
Said a prayer so nervous, laid still for eternity,
The shower ran through 6 a.m., I heard knocks on the door.

Answered with an imaginary gun that held me hostage, it’s more
Than what I made it out to be, told them I fell and I slipped,
Told a joke and laughed it off, told her hell is a bitch,
Denim has a subtle smell when drenched in whiskey and slaughter,

Waded as an anonymous caller, speakerphone the rain of the water,
Looked to the sky, dissolute, dissuaded, demise,
Cried, laughed, and told the operator I had already died,
Asked me if I was alright, I know I’d never be the same,

Desolate rage, I wonder where my crucifix lays,
If they could talk, what would these broken walls say,
You only remember me when I start to walk away. Thanks.