I’m sorry.

There’s a reason I’m like this, a lapidary diamond destruction,
Cut out your aortic value, set aside the eruption.
A volcanic assembly in the midst of a powerless strain,
It isn’t malaise; the road less traveled is traveled the same.
Mapped-out distinction, we only talk when there’s nothing to say,
You are here, we are there, it hurts, but okay.

Perforated perfection, razor-bladed ventricle phase,
Take an exit, no, take a breath, pulmonary affection displayed,
But we don’t breathe anymore.
Tensions rising, adrenal gland, sinus secretion,
No gasps of air in between kisses, just sighs of relief,
Stethoscope camaraderie, departure is now tearful at best,
Decode the Morse of your heartbeat with an ear to your chest.

But it doesn’t matter anymore;
You ruined my interpretation of love.
She used to walk by the lake and avoid the watery tide,
Now when it rains, I let you walk in puddles with stride,
Tablecloth linen, Chevrolet wagon window fingerprint stain,
Hers clouded the same area, Cinderella silhouette paint.

We’ve been here before; I’ll say it again, I’ll say it forever,
Your silence let me know we weren’t together,
Delicate language, I kept you in Davy Jones’ locker,
Binary code sonder, bystanders looked at us argue,
I don’t know; you were my first.

Ethereal consumption, diluted diversion,
I don’t know if it’s you or when you put me on mute, and there’s bourbon.
You are here, no, you aren’t; you’re just in my bloodstream,
So when I run away from my past…
Well, you are here, disenfranchised, who’s gonna pay tribute,
Desenfenada, desperado, I hate to end it like this, to be continued.

There are lies that I tell, with no repercussions in sight,
Roll over for the fallout, mushroom smoke, destruction tonight.
Blood on the vinyl, the stylus goes over it every time,
I heard a whisper that others swear I made up in my mind.

I mean, I’m sorry, I’m apologizing for apologies’ sake,
Anthology of poems that I swore I never created,
Signature, me, my handwriting becomes sloppy by noon,
Hollow out the wine cabinet, 3 P.M., Oktober Lagune.

Philosophy twist, take a trip with me to Corpus Callosum,
Where coordinates of your ghost console the subconscious,
Sort of robotic, you control my wiring with a jolt, electronic,
My own Pocahontas, brunette soul, roses from the garden have blossomed.

There’s more than what meets the eye, a morgue detailed in disguise,
The force in which you assort to, distorts the ailing device,
Tobacco road, collages corroded by writings in code,
Chorus in falsetto, I need endorphins for one night in Chicago.

Fireplace blisters, a crackle for every sip that I take,
Stolichnaya, punches rolled with the fist that I make,
A soft season in Texas, mistletoes, Sam Adams, King Cole for your taste,
Dismissive soul, for every broken heart, there’s a home I invade.

And for every cold day, there’s a lava-breathing demon, I lay,
Lion gazelle syndrome in your bed, like a wolf in sheep’s clothing,
Love that you run from me, love that you bleed slowly,
I could see you at the gazebo from the window that I deliberately sit at.

I wish I knew, maybe tomorrow I’ll love you again,
Maybe it’s the summer air, maybe I hope that summer never ends,
It’s culture and ethics, vulture paradigm culled and then etched in,
The permanent pull of forever.

Do you remember we kissed? The sole member of this ringing inaction,
Heard about your Schrödinger attachment, the elixir is magic,
Pronounce your name for me, I want to say it in a dead language,
I want to say it how they said it before we even existed,

Out loud and painfully, full of rage, in a sweating panic,
Seasons remiss, I want to breathe it into existence,
Velvet sage, I want to say it with your hand on my neck,
Great minds think alike, so that’s why we both brandish contempt.

Showered with my clothes on, alone in the stall,
Emptied the Heaven Hill, and put a hole in the wall,
Called the “don’t do it” lifeline and was put on hold for an hour,
Wrote a letter to my parents and choked on the vowels,

Bit on my tongue till the blood diluted the taste of the bourbon,
Put a slit through my bandage, put a blade to my churches,
Said a prayer so nervous, laid still for eternity,
The shower ran through 6 a.m., I heard knocks on the door.

Answered with an imaginary gun that held me hostage, it’s more
Than what I made it out to be, told them I fell and I slipped,
Told a joke and laughed it off, told her hell is a bitch,
Denim has a subtle smell when drenched in whiskey and slaughter,

Waded as an anonymous caller, speakerphone the rain of the water,
Looked to the sky, dissolute, dissuaded, demise,
Cried, laughed, and told the operator I had already died,
Asked me if I was alright, I know I’d never be the same,

Desolate rage, I wonder where my crucifix lays,
If they could talk, what would these broken walls say,
You only remember me when I start to walk away. Thanks.

I’m sorry. Thank you. Hello and goodbye,
Watch it go, watch it stop, watch as I cry.
Au revoir, adios, remember me as I am,
I’ll never be the same, reinvent me, Madame.

I used to fish for stars right in my hand,
And give them to you as a present, kazam.
Abra kadabra, promise not to break your promise,
How ironic, at least leave me with a recognizable face, my darling.

At least leave me in decent condition,
The least you could do to your secret magician,
An alcoholic astrologist,
I captured your drunken words in Ursa Major. How modest, this.

Sonnet of clay, molded lava, bottle deranged,
Admonish the pain, now soothe me with sutures,
That you stitch with your fingertip dipped in ruby,
It’s not all the same, how did you find your way here?

Moonlit ballads, shadows kissed your brassiere,
Memorize the sounds of your footsteps,
They filled up the room, hold me down as the dusk sets,
Pillar of doom, left the print of your mouth on my gunsling,
Video recorded a lot of our moments, now I’ve got film montages of every proponent.

How malevolent, coping with the dissected mistrust,
I’ve learned more about myself being alone than in love,
Ran out of sanctions to word, how my brain figures hurt,
Turn in your grave, there’s no perfecter way to observe,
The earth between toes, in between fingers calloused with rage,
Now balance it, balance faith with distaste.

Okay.

Lush scenery that brushes the bushed greenery,
Beloved blood cherry seeds above the deviled trees,
Heralded pillows of snow, silk tapestry glow,
Mounded desperately as the chimney smoke infectiously grows.

December time, white and merlot, bite your lips on contact,
Lick the quietest contrast of colors, of this bombastic thunder,
My iron fists impacted when the fireplace thaws us out of our slumber,
As you claw down my jawline and my eyes dilate.

You fall down a puddle that I create,
Dive into the divine pool right by the love lake,
It’s curvature nature, it’s lavender bursts from the rainbow,
My flavor flirts with the power that emanates from your halo.

Float with me atop this palace of clay,
Where pallets of sage surround and crusade,
Flowers betray us because we wear flowered berets,
Hold my hand as jumping into a bouquet of dandelions is our only escape.

Thousands of petals tack onto the grass in the glades,
Where our heads laid, and shades of chlorophyll got caught in our gaze,
Trace my finger onto your shoulder blades, feel me map out your veins,
The ozone fills in with a dark argon gray.

My soul spills into the pavement, and time stays still for a day.